


A Pink, Pink Moon

by Stella_Delilah



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Black Panther is a good bro, Black Panther understands PTSD and stuff, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky and Steve like each other, Bucky is also sensitive, Bucky still doesn't quite remember, M/M, Making Out, Making out like teenagers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Songfic, Sort of? - Freeform, Steve is sensitive, They're all sensitive, like a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6993073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Delilah/pseuds/Stella_Delilah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Black Panther is a foe, but an equal foe. Bucky won’t pick a fight that he can’t win. </p><p>Steve, on the other hand, can be fought. Steve can be killed. </p><p>On the nights of these days, Steve sleeps with his gun."</p><p>Bucky remembers some things, but not all. Steve keeps helping him, but sometimes Bucky doesn't need it.</p><p>Loosely tied to 'Pink Moon' by Nick Drake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pink, Pink Moon

**Author's Note:**

> So I started a new job and can't update as much as I'd like to anymore, but this has been bouncing around in my head for a while now so I had to go ahead and post it. Let me know what you think in a comment. Or don't.

Steve Rogers wasn't running yet, but he soon would be if he didn't see Bucky soon. He thought nothing of waking up to an empty bed, since Bucky liked to get up and check the perimeters, but the other man hadn't returned after half an hour. Bucky didn't like to be too far from Steve, partly because he wanted to keep him close but also because Steve was the only one that the former Winter Soldier trusted.

            Considering the fact that Bucky was figuring out things about himself and sometimes forgot where he was, or who Steve was (or who he was, for that much), Steve was getting pretty worried when he saw that Bucky wasn’t just staring out the front window of the Prince T’Challa’s house. It was one of the many that the highness owned, and Steve and Bucky were only using it for a short while.

            Steve had tried keeping Bucky on ice, he really had. But the moment he defrosted him, about 2 weeks after icing Bucky again, the other man had practically fallen into Steve’s arms with exhaustion and relief.

            “Steve, please don’t put me in there again,” He’d sobbed, holding onto Steve’s shirt as though he might actually fall if he let go. Steve had pulled him up into his arms and held him then. “It’s cold in there, it’s _too dark in there_!”

            Steve kissed Bucky’s forehead at that point, and made some vague promise to keep him safe forever. Bucky didn’t hear him. Bucky didn’t notice the kiss either.

            Since then, Bucky’s been on and off, with good AND bad days. There are days when Steve wakes up and Bucky is stroking his hair, with a strange look of longing on his face. On days like this, Bucky is very touchy-feely, holding onto Steve with his good hand and twisting his shirt and hair with his metal hand. Steve can usually sit and read for a while, or draw, and Bucky will sit beside him and examine his hands or his hair, as though he’s never seen Steve before. Or as though he’s trying to make up for lost time.

            On bad days, Steve wakes up to the Winter Soldier. A non-weaponized, non-lethal version, but still the Winter Soldier. On days like these, Bucky is hiding from Steve, only trusting T’Challa to come close to him. It’s because Steve is still a target in his assassin mind, and the Black Panther is a foe, but an equal foe. Bucky won’t pick a fight that he can’t win.

Steve, on the other hand, can be fought. Steve can be killed. On nights of these days, Steve sleeps with his gun. Bucky hasn’t done anything yet, since T’Challa usually reminds him that ‘they’ need Steve alive (the man doesn’t specify that the ‘they’ in question is actually everyone in Wakanda, not Hydra) and Bucky somehow knows to leave Steve alone for today. Thankfully, Steve hasn’t had to deal with the day that Bucky decides that he’s ready to kill him. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

The best days are when Steve wakes up to Bucky staring out the window. On those days, Bucky is happy. As in really, totally, happy. Steve can usually pull Bucky from the window and tell him that it was time for breakfast and Bucky would say some snarky response about Steve being excited just to be able to lift the pan. These are the days that Bucky smiles, and Steve’s heart warms a little more every time. Those nights are the best too, because Bucky curls a little bit closer to him, grips his torso a little bit tighter. And he blushes a bit redder when Steve says goodnight to him.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

Steve ran to the bathroom again, because sometimes Bucky would forget how to wipe himself but would be too ashamed to ask for help. Bucky wasn’t there, so Steve hurried outside. Wakanda was beautiful, and there were some lights from the tower a few miles away, nearer to the jungle. Their house was in a small village of many homes, where Sam would stay and where Scarlet Witch often lived. They both came and went, and Scott had long since gone back home to see his daughter.

With his heart racing and his mind coming up with crazy ideas, Steve stopped in the yard and tried to get his bearings. Bucky had run. He might have forgotten again and tried to go hunt someone down, but somehow Steve doubted that. Damn it, he must have thought that he was bothering everyone again. Steve crouched low to the ground and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Buck,” He whispered to himself, and quickly pulled a hand up to his eyes to stop the tears.

“Yeah?”

Steve immediately looked up. Bucky was sitting on the roof of their little cottage, looking down at Steve curiously. Steve’s heart felt as though he’d just run a mile and he let out a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“Bucky, what are-,“ He cleared his throat. “What are you doing up there?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered toward the sky before sliding back down the Steve. He shrugged.

“Stargazing.” He said simply, swinging his legs over the side of the roof and swinging them back and forth. Steve had to close his eyes and count to ten then, because Bucky had gone out in the earliest hours of the morning to _stargaze_ , because Bucky wasn’t _gone_ , and because Bucky looked so young and childlike in the moonlight, especially when he swung his legs like that. Bucky had always been young.

When Steve opened his eyes, Bucky was watching him again. He smiled weakly, but Bucky’s face dropped a notch.

“I can come back if you want.” Bucky said softly, shifting to slide off of the roof.

“No!” Steve said forcefully, almost too suddenly. Bucky stopped straight away and looked at Steve. He was halfway between jumping off and holding onto the roof, with just the slightest bit of roof in between his fingers. Steve swallowed quickly and tried again. “You don’t have to come inside again.” He said.

Bucky kept staring at him, and didn’t move. It seemed as though he needed another command, so Steve said, “You can keep stargazing, Buck.”

At that, Bucky seemed to relax, and rolled back onto the roof, leaning back and looking up at the sky. Steve cleared his throat again and asked to join him. Bucky only nodded in response. Steve walked back a bit from the house, then took a running start to grab onto the gutter ledge. He pulled himself up to the roof, and rolled over until he was lying beside Bucky, mimicking his position. They lay there for a few minutes, quiet except for Bucky’s soft clanking of his mechanical fingers as he drummed them against the roof and Steve’s breathing. In fact, they lay there so calmly that Steve had drifted off before Bucky spoke.

"The moon is actually pink, Steve."

Steve jolted awake and turned his head toward Bucky. “What?” He said, making sure that he and Bucky were still secure on the roof.

Bucky glanced over to him and seemed to sigh. “The moon, Steve.” He said, sounding as though he was on the tail edge of exasperated. “It’s pink.”

Steve turned his attention toward the sky. Bucky was right. The moon was full and round, and undoubtedly pink. He turned back to Bucky to tell him that it was interesting how the moon was pink, and came face to face with the other man staring right back at him.

Bucky’s body was frozen, but his flesh hand came up to brush some of Steve’s longer hair out of his face. Steve took a deep breath before shuffling the slightest bit closer to Bucky and cupping his hand against his own face. Bucky didn’t gasp, or start. He just laid there, watching Steve with huge blue eyes, and holding onto Steve’s cheek. Steve rubbed the back of Bucky’s hand with his thumb before moving even closer to the other man. They were sharing each other’s breath now, and Bucky’s breath smelled like lilacs. Steve huffed to himself internally, because he’d told Bucky before not to spray that bug spray directly into his mouth, even if it was all-natural.

Bucky made a soft hum and pressed his nose against Steve’s. Steve could feel Bucky’s lips, they were so close. But Bucky had also closed his eyes and seemed perfectly content to lay like this forever, until the stars fell or morning came. Whichever came first.

They lay like that for a little while longer, with Steve trying to relax and Bucky sighing against their shared air, and seeming more content than he had for a long time.

“Did you notice it yet?” Bucky asked suddenly, and Steve could just _feel_ those lips moving against his. The air between them felt as though it was tingling. Steve opened his mouth to answer, before he realized where they were and what they were doing.

Bucky wasn’t asking about the moon.

Steve stared at Bucky, who opened his eyes slowly and stared right back, almost challengingly. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and Steve’s mouth parted unconsciously.

“Yeah Bucky.” He said softly, and Bucky’s blue eyes were practically boring holes into his own. “I noticed.” Bucky didn’t move his hand and Steve didn’t move his. They were so close that he could almost feel Bucky’s eyelashes fluttering against his cheek whenever Bucky blinked. Steve moved forward the slightest bit, and Bucky finally gasped.

“The moon is pink.” Steve said, and then closed the distance between them. Bucky’s lips tasted like a hint of sour medicine and old candy, but Steve just carded his hands through Bucky’s hair and leaned over him more to move their lips more. Bucky moaned and suddenly grabbed Steve’s hair too. No longer gentle, Bucky flipped them suddenly and straddled Steve. Steve made a surprised noise, and Bucky took that moment to slip his tongue into Steve’s mouth. Steve moaned at that, and Bucky ground his hips down into Steve’s at the sound. Their tongues danced, and Bucky twisted his around Steve’s in a way that made the other man arch his back.

Finally, Bucky pulled away to breathe and Steve sighed. Bucky still straddled him and began to stroke Steve’s face again. In the back of Steve’s mind, he thought that maybe this was why Bucky always looked so longingly at him.

This is what he was longing for, Steve thought absently as Bucky flopped back down beside him, staying close. Their legs tangled together as Bucky continued his ministrations into Steve’s hair, a soft smile forming on his lips.

“Well that was fun.” Steve said, and Bucky rolled his eyes but moved even closer.

“Took you damn well long enough to figure it out, dumb ass.” He said, but his face was flushing even as he said the words. Bucky looked down, and then leaned his head into Steve’s shoulders. Steve took the cue and began to rub Bucky’s hair and his neck, letting the other man relax into sleep.

Steve held his Bucky close to his heart, and looked up at the moon. It was still shining brightly above them, nearly as pink as a sunset. He smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for stopping by. What did you think? Please come again.


End file.
